Investigation
by The Beast of the East
Summary: Okay, chapter 3 is up. If you are keeping track of my story you know that Spongebob is not happy of Squidward dating Sandy and he has some DEADLY negotiations with Squidward.
1. Squidward's Lover

"Finally!" said an exhausted Squidward Tentacles. "I'm out of this evil place." "We'll Mr. Squidward, if you think today was bad just wait till tomorrow, because we do it all over again," said Mr. Krabbs. Squidward's unusual happy expression went bland again. "I know," he sighed.

"What's wrong with Squidward ?" asked Spongebob. "He's just always down, said Mr. Krabbs. But I never know why." Squidward went in his car full of My mother should've had an abortion for me, and stickers everywhere.

"You're right, but how come I never noticed this?" asked Spongebob. "'Cause you don't know what sarcasm is you gay bimbo," snapped Mr. Krabbs. Spongebob just laughed in a very confused manner. "Bimbo hahahahahaha, gay, haahahhahhha, that's funny."

Later that night…………….

Spongebob was calling Patrick. "Hey boo what's up!" said Patrick. "Pat why you talking that way?" asked Spongebob. "Spongebob ,do you even know what a pimp is?" he replied. "What's that ?" asked Spongebob. "Forget that,said Patrick. So why did you call me?" We'll Squidward's not happy and I'm very worried about him, maybe we should do something," said Spongebob. "Okay I have an idea, meet me tomorrow at my house, I have a plan to cheer him up," said Patrick. "Thanks Pat, I knew I could count on you, honey," said Spongebob. "Okay?" said Patrick.

The Next Day……………

"Patrick I'm here!" called Spongebob. "Sssshhhhhhh, do you want him to hear us," squealed Patrick. "I thought we were hear to cheer him up." Said Spongebob. "We are but, apparently he doesn't need it," whispered Patrick. They both hid in the bushes outside Squidward's house. "Hey look it's Sandy," said Spongebob. "Bye baby!" yelled Squidward after her. "Patrick did you hear that? Pat, Patrick you okay?" Spongebob aksed. Patrick had passed out after seeing Sandy.

"I don't get it, why would she and Squidward be in a relationship?" said Patrick. "We should investigate," said an enthused Spongebob.

Later that day, they snuck into Squidward's house. "Okay let's search the house, if there is anything suspicious write it down," whispered Spongebob. Unfortunately, Squidward was in the shower during the investigation.

Patrick's eyes widened at the sight of a thong. "Holy crap Spongebob look at the size of this thong!" yelled Patrick. "Wow said Spongebob. He must have a huge d-." "Who's there!" yelled Squidward. "Even though I'm naked I can still beat the living crap out of you," he yelled. "You're right said Patrick. He does have a huge di-." They found Squidward staring straight at them. "Okay boys, I'll give you 3 seconds to get your ugly faces out of here and I'll forget this ever-" Before he could finish, Spongebob and Patrick had already left.


	2. In for the Kill

"Hey, Spongebob," said Mr. Krabbs. "Hey," he replied. "So how was the investigation go: asked Mr. Krabbs. "Not to well, he's dating one of my best friends," he replied. "Ouch," said Mr. Krabbs.

"Hello everyone what a great day," said Squidward. "Breathe you dirty son of bch!" yelled Spongebob who was giving CPR on Squidward. "You bastard, I'm fine, I feel good today!" screamed Squidward. "Oh, that's good," said a sarcastic Spongebob. "Are you making fun of me!" questioned Squidward. "No, just tell me more about your lover!" exclaimed Spongebob. Squidward then tackled Spongebob. "I'm gonna beat your head to a pulp you little pervert!" he screamed. "I wasn't the one with the thong remember Squidward!" he replied. Squidward kept hitting Spongebob. "Dt you two, quit fighting we're losing custumers!" yelled Mr. Krabbs. Several customer came to break up the fight. "Spongebob, I don't want to see you here for another week. "But Mr.-", "No buts Spongebob, Mr. Krabbs interrupted. I never even want to hear you till next week," said Mr. Krabbs.

Later on Spongebob and Patrick were climbing on the side of Squidward's house to spy on him. "Oh, Squiddy, yes, yes, YES!" they heard a voice say. "That bastard is plowing into Sandy!" exclaimed Patrick. "But there in his kitchen," said Spongebob. Meanwhile, inside the kitchen, "YES YES YES YEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" yelled Sandy. "Squiddy your gumbo is so good." "MMMMmmmmm, gimme more gimme more," Patrick heard her say. "Dn she's doin it again," he said. Spongebob looked very ticked. "What are we gonna do?" asked Patrick. Spongebob then with a evil look in the eyes said: "KILL SQUIDWARD!"


	3. Deadly Negotiations

"Spongebob, said Patrick nervously. Why do you want to kill Squidward, aren't you happy for Sandy?" "Happy?" snapped Spongebob. "Be happy for the woman who turned on me, NO, NEVER!" Patrick watched helplessly as Spongebob continued to climb up Squidward's house. "And down will come Squidward, Sandy, and all" he sang in horror film type dialogue. "GET A LIFE!" yelled Patrick from down below as he took the climbing catch net and slammed his front door. Spongebob watched him go and just shrugged. "I'll just free-climb it," he said to himself. He finally made it to the roof and listened to Sandy and Squidward's conversation through the walls. "So, honey", said Sandy. "How does Spongebob feel about our relationship?" "Uh, fine", Squidward lied

Suddenly a loud Crash sounded as a window shattered and glass flew everywhere. Sandy fainted in horror of the sight. "No!" cried Squidward with blood on his face. Spongebob appeared in the place the window used to be. "What the hel are you doing here!" yelled Squidward. Spongebob just smiled in a possessed way. "Give me answers!" bashed Squidward. "Well," started Spongebob. "You are hanging with my girlfriend," said Spongebob. "You backstabbing, selfish, foolish little bastard!" replied Squidward. "I think you had dat confused with yo momma!" yelled Spongebob. Squidward responded with a slap across the face. "Oh, so you're a bch slapping, girl stealer now right!" mocked Spongebob. Squidward then, even angrier, tackled Spongebob down the stairs. They continued wrestling until they reached the end of the stairs. "What was that?" said Squidward making fun of Spongebob. Spongebob punched Squidward in the jaw and he fell backwards on impact. Spongebob then opened Squidward's silverware cabinet and grabbed a huge knife. Franticly, Squidward tripped Spongebob and grabbed the knife. Spongebob then bit Squidward and took the knife back.

"Quote the Spongebob, NEVVVEEEERRRRRRRMOORRRREEEE!" he screamed as he drove the knife into Squidward's stomach. Squidward squealed in pain as Spongebob watched wiping blood of his face.

5 minutes later, police sirens sounded and Spongebob ran and hid in his house and watched Squidward taken away on a stretcher. Spongebob then eyed Sandy who was talking to the cops and then said, "One down……..one to go."


End file.
